I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
