He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Mom said you looked used
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was not drunk enough for that final.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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