i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
