u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
