i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
