we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
