Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
