After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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