HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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