I seem to have left my pride at pride
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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