my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
