i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
