Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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