i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
