ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
