Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
