Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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