At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
