Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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