may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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