bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
