Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
