yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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