You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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