After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
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I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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