During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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