i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
