Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
