On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
