Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
