he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
