if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
