operation harelip BJ is a go
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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