i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
