no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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