They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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