Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
