fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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