She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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