There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
