There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
