dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
