So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
