She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
