new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
