dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
