Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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