Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
