And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
