HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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