I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
