my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
