my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
