Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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