It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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