Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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