I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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