Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
and you fell through a lawn chair
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom