I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.